


Losing game

by agamaral



Series: We don't love like we promised [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Death Eaters, F/F, Mentioned Sirius Black, Mentioned Voldemort (Harry Potter), Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Romance, Young Death Eaters, mentioned andromeda black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27337501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agamaral/pseuds/agamaral
Summary: Bellatrix loved and was loved.But she chose otherwise.
Relationships: Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Original Female Character(s)
Series: We don't love like we promised [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988773
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Losing game

_I spent all of the love I've saved_

_We were always a losing game_

"You can't be serious, Bella!"

"Why can't you understand?"

"Oh, please enlighten me about the pureblood cult you got involved"

"IT IS NOT A CULT"

I roll my eyes. I was hoping for a quiet day together, but quickly the morning took another turn.

She sighs. "It's just....we need to protect magic, darling. We can't let just anyone using it, it's too powerful"

"By anyone you mean people who aren't purebloods?"

"It's just tradition. It’s in our blood for generations, ancient knowledge. What's the problem with that?"

"ARE.YOU.FUCKING.KIDDING.ME.BELLATRIX?"

I can’t believe I am really listening to that. It’s not that first time that we argue but she was never so direct about believing in pureblood supremacy. She phrases as worries about tradition and protection to disguised it, but I know better.

"If you meet him, you'll understand"

"I'm not meeting that egoistic, power-hungry man that call himself your lord! My mom is a muggleborn Bellatrix, what do you think will happen?"

  
"Your father comes from a well-respected lineage of wizards and you are an extraordinary witch, love, he will find a place for you!”

I snort, that's way too much for me."Your parents really got to your head"

"NO! Can't u see?", her voice becomes louder and louder, she's pacing around the bedroom now. "If he accepts you, my parents won't say anything against it, they will have to accept you too"

"Is that why you are doing this?", my voice is gentler now, but I'm not quite sure I believe that's the only reason.

"Yes! Do you see it now? We could be so great together!"

We are great together. But I know the greatness she refers to is another one. 

"Your power lust is consuming you, Bella", I try to reason with her, each day I'm more convinced that she's blind to the real reasons she's making her choices.

"Is that so wrong? Wanting to be powerful?"

"It is if that comes before love!", my voice is matching hers now. I'm happy we are in an isolated place, otherwise all neighborhood would hear us.

"I'm doing it for love! For you, for my sisters", she seems thoroughly offended by my accusation, "I WANT TO PROTECT US"

"ME TOO! But we don't need this! We can just leave! We can count on Dumbledore…."

"DUMBLEDORE IS AN EXCUSE OF A WIZARD. ARE YOU REALLY THAT STUPID? DO YOU WANT TO PLAY HOUSEWIFE WITH ME? WHAT ELSE? SHOULD WE LIVE HERE IN THIS STUPID COTTAGE?"

Her tone is so harsh, like wanting to prioritize our love was the stupidest joke she's ever listened. She's becoming meaner each day, more unstable. Her eyes angrier. Her outbursts leave almost no place to her vulnerability anymore, just for cruelty.

I can feel tears on my eyes, threatening to fall. Is that what she thinks of me? A stupid half blood, so inferior to her and her family?

"I just”, she probably realizes my distress because she lowers her voice, “you are so naive. Why should I leave everything behind? For good and for worst, I'm a Black! I'm destined for great things"

"You can have and do great things without them. We don't need them!"

"You are wrong."

Her voice is low but firm. She seems tired of having these arguments, but she won't change her mind.

It's becoming usual for us. We hide ourselves in the cottage, days and nights of love, of talking, reading together, laughing, ignoring all the questions that haunt us. But our demons always appear. Sooner or later, we always fight about it. Her meetings with them are more frequent and she's often running errands I know nothing about.

I look at her. She's looking through the window, her back to me, her black curls the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

"This path you are going, Bella". I cross the space between us. "I'm afraid is way darker than you think"

"There's no other way". She still avoids my gaze.

"But there is". Merlin, my voice sounds so defeated.

After some moments that feel like eternity. She turns around, bringing her hands to my cheeks, I embrace her.

"If you don't change your mind, I don't think we can...." she doesn't finish her sentence. She doesn't need to.

I kissed her, slow and passionate, trying to remember every second of how she feels in my arms, trying to show her how much I love her, how deep she touched my soul.

"Bella, I can't. The things they believe, I can't stand by it. I don't know how you can"

She strokes my face, giving me a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "You and your stubborn habit of keeping your principles", she says jokingly but her tone is sad.

"Don't make me choose, love", she sighs.

"Don't leave me, Bella"

I'm not sure how long we stood there, holding each other, kissing, looking at each other eyes, trying to hold on to the moment for as long as we could.

"Don't forget me, darling"

She took some steps back. When I realize what's happening, I try to reach for her but my hand finds only emptiness. I scream her name like I did so many times before, only now it’s desperate.

I can't wrap my mind around it. I should know it was only a matter of time. We were on different sides now.

But I hoped. I hoped she would be like her sister and her cousin who don't share the views of the family.

Not Bella, though. She's always been so ambitious. It wasn't a problem per se, but it started consuming her. Her desire to prove everybody wrong, to show her parents how she wasn't a disappointment, a failure. She was way too stubborn and way too deep, not capable of breaking all those abusive ties.

I tried to save her, to pull her, but it wasn't enough.

She's gone. It's over.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this work has been ready for weeks, I wrote just after my first work but I wasn't really happy with this one.  
> I had some problems figuring out the timeline. I mean, we don't know the year exactly when Bellatrix joined the Voldemort but I believe it was shortly after her graduation, at the very beginning of the first wizarding war. Because of that I had to delete some parts I was hoping to write about, like Andy marrying Ted, for example. Since they married in 1975 I assumed that, by that time, Bellatrix was already a death eater and at least, rising as one of the most feared.  
> I still hope the work gives a glimpse on the relationship :)  
> I have some more chapters ready but they still need some review. 
> 
> Thank you for bearing with me lol


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